AB-ROLLER K.O.'s Terrorism.

Hello everyone!
I must admit, I have been anxious to blog since my last. This is getting slightly addictive.
Anyway, I managed to exercise a little during my Drill last weekend. The military is an interesting beast. Currently, the Navy Reserve is trying to downsize approximately 8,000 reservists. Why? I couldn't tell you. Brilliantly, they have decided the best way to do this is by finally implementing one of their rules that has been overlooked for quite some time now. This rule falls under the physical fitness standards. Specifically, any person failing a physical fitness test three times in a four year period will be discharged from the Navy. (This includes if they miss these tests three times in a row due to a medical inability.) And so, we are left to face the mind boggling question, "Should I stay or should I go?" Let me start from the beginning.
Each of us were born with traits that we aquired from either parent. Being born of a Japanese Mother and an African American Father, during the gestation period...it's pretty much a toss up.
My Mother was a petite 4' 11" woman. My Father is a stout 5' 8". And I know you're thinking, I should fall comfortably in the middle. Well, the lower half of me is my stocky Father and the upper is my Petite mother. Quizzically I am not the only one like this, which reaffirms my childhood belief that everyone was a little mixed up like me. I am the quintessential Pear-shape. Fastforward 30 years.
The Navy's Physical Readiness Test, PRT, consists of push-ups, crunches, and a mile and a half run. All of which I can complete just fine. The catch is if you are over the weight standard for your height - 5' 5"/30 yrs old/=160; you must be tape measured to see if you're in body fat standards. No problem...for a jalapeno on a stick! Women are tape measured around the neck, smallest part of the waist and around the widest circumference of the hips. So unless I swallow a bowling ball, remove a rib and perform do-it-yourself lipo, I'm perfect for the downsizing - no pun intended.
Whew! I said all that to say... the Lieutenant that leads our Fitness Enhancement Program, FEP, is like a Jack Russell with ADHD that lifts weights and in dire need valium. She's 5' 2" and all muscle. She led our cross-training day. We did cardio, then moved to the floor mats. It was then that your evil twin began to emerge. (She might be schizophrenic too.) She excitedly displays her AB-ROLLER. For those of you who don't know what this is, it is a small wheel with handle bars on each side. You crouch down on your knees and you roll forward extending your body forward as far as you can go, and then back. Each one of us must do as many as we can, twice. Despite the chilled blank stares, she begins. Whoever invented this torture device would be proud of this little fireball of a Lieutenant. She rolled forward, rolled to the left, rolled to the right, all the while talking! After watching the first few crumble as victims to the pain, it was my turn. I...rolled...forward...about two feet...and stopped. How in the world do I get back! Summoning every muscle I had to act, I managed to return to the starting postion. (Should I be activated and called to go to Iraq, I'd go and do my duty. Should I have to fight and fire my weapon, I'd do so to the utmost of my ability. Should I get captured, I'd endure the interrogating and torture. But if the enemy so much as brought out an AB-ROLLER and forced me to do it while questioning me, I have to say; I'd tell them everything!)
Needless to say today is day two of no running but I can now bend forward and touch my toes!
In summary, Pear shaped women are best not in the military. Having been born of mixed descent, I speak from experience, everyone is just as mixed up as me. And lastly, if America wants to win the war on terrorism, they should invest in the AB-ROLLER.