Siesta for Everybody!

I got up this morning to meet Tknesha at the Resevoir Y. We decided to run inside on the treadmill. After a brief walk, I speed up to a jog. I chose the machine in the corner and directly in my line of view was a woman on the stair climber. Or rather, her butt was in my line of view. Granted, it was a side view, but when I run I must look forward or people around me will think I have vertigo from all the falling that would occur. I can't run to music, but I am able to zone out and go to where my thoughts live. Which brings me to my question: Why are the stairmasters and stairclimbers always placed just so that your derrier is facing the uncurtained window?! At The Club on Lake Harbor, if you have ever driven by after sundown, a smorgasboard of backsides are on display flexing and contracting. If this is suppose to be cheap adverstisement for the gym, you would think they would only let people with the tight bums on those particular machines. Yes, I would look, for the sake of art. But if I see someone's tush in comparable size to mine just rockin' away in the window, my first thought is, "I'm not going there so my untoned butt can be on display!" When I went to Fleet Feet to get my shoes and I ran on the treadmill, the clerk didn't inform me of the camera, nor did I see it when I climbed on. She directed me to get off and look at the monitor to study my gait. When that video ran, I was mortified! As she spoke about my stride, I just kept starring at my ass on the screen. I honestly didn't realize it was THAT big! I mean I had an idea, but when you're carrying it around and its in a spot you don't see as often... for crying out loud. My butt is on film! I couldn't tell you if I was a pronator or not. Don't even know the names of the shoes I run in. All I could think of was how... wide... I was. Just trotting along without care in the world. I began to think of all those drivers that passed me by as I ran curbside. Oh my gosh! Could that be the real reason I haven't been kidnapped yet? The Kidnapper is only stalking me until I lose enough weight where he could actually lift me into the van. Great. I'm too fat to be abducted.
I hope they taped over it. Although, I can imagine them being sadistic, waiting til the end of the day to replay all the runners to laugh not only at their immense girth but the overpronation and inability roll heel to toe. The white van could very well be them seeing if I am using the shoes!
I know you think I am paranoid or psycho, but honestly I am not either or on any medication. I am not chemically imbalanced. Just emotionally enhanced.
I better get back to work. They might think I went on siesta.
Boy, do I need a siesta.