One Canine: .5 miles // Geritol walking-fool: .75 miles // 2 Hamhocks finding their way in my tights: Priceless!

Morning All! Its a glorious, and cold, morning.
I decided to forgo the coffee and shower to give you the low-down on my first race of the year. (Although 'race' is a term that I will us loosely today, thank you.)
Picture it...Clinton...7:'below-freezing-nordic-weather' 30 a.m. As I pulled onto the trace I felt fine. Apparently the parking lot wasn't as big as one never having been there might have thought. Cars flanked the street on both sides like a grove. 'Where'd all these people come from? They must be the 'Full Crazies.' I parked and heard the announcer that the runners had 10 minutes. The blocks of ice I called my feet thudded to the tables to get my packet and number (I retrieved my parents' as well since both couldn't make it. I'm wondering if their excuse were true) I see the two guys from work that I talked into walking, both shivering like chihuahuas. And, I see the big girl that my Father always chases down whenever he sees her. I had just enough time to pin on my number and drop off my packets in T'Knesha's car and make it back to the start. I saw Kristen - another only half-crazy who was pretending full-on crazy like myself- looking all svelte in her runner's garb. (Forgive me for making this sound like Romper Room, but I saw a lot of faces I hadn't seen in a while. I saw Alice - She says Hi, Susan; Mary Margaret, and David Shumate - not running-waterbearer.
Unlike the Marine Corps Marathon, the gun was loud and satisfying. I thought to ask him if he'd shoot at my feet to get them going but the adrenaline of the crowd spilled over in my direction and kinetic energy guided me forward. A lady with an atheletic mutt passed me. (Damn, forgot to get a canine to pull me along in the race. Note to self: Check ebay for a great dane with a long leash.) No basset hounds were near, so, so far things are going well. Until...I would say it was about 3/4 of a mile when I noticed movement to my right. Damn it, if it wasn't a WALKER! The guy had to be twice my age. I checked my bulb overhead and once the dust settled, it came on. 'I have got to get my butt into gear'. I outran the walkers in last year's Legal Beagle, not by much, but who's splitting hairs? I just want to know what do they actually put in the Geritol?
1.5 Miles, read the sign. For a split second I felt relieved, then I remembered that I signed up for the 10K. I've only reached half of the half. The walker turned around ahead of me and took a mere glance at the heaving mass that he was about to pass. I can't remember if I smiled back or stuck my tongue out at him but he simply sashayed by without a word. By mile 2, I noticed something dragging. I didn't look down to check, but I could feel it. Eventually, I took a walk break and decided to see what it was. What the...!? Who snuck these 2 huge hamhocks down my tights expecting me to run with them? They weren't there when I started! Now, I surely can't disrobe in front of all these people to unload them, they would think I was Half-Crazy or something. Boy did they get heavy with each step.
It wasn't until mile 4 when old habits were finally exorcised from my memory. By accident, I leaned back to catch a deep breath of air and felt almost gazelle-like for 2 seconds. RUN UPRIGHT. Duh! I had been leaning too far forward. I may have been concentrating on the approaching sound of a vehicle so I could lunge myself in front of it to put me out of my misery. But for those 2 seconds I forgot about ending the pain and felt much better. (note to all of you: don't do like I did and sabotage yourself back to square 1. Let other people do it so you can pass them while walking with your dog.)
By the end of the race, I was greeted by Kristen who jogged it in with me to the chutes. That was nice. I thought about dropping trow(trowsers) right there, grabbing a hamhock in each hand and slamming them down on the ground like a touchdown. "Who's funny idea were these, huh?!" Oh yeah, they were mine whenever our work decided to have a luncheon every week during the holidays.
Interestingly enough, The two guys I talked into walking their first 5K - both place 2nd and 3rd for their age group. Mary Margaret placed and last but not least, our very own Kristen Hendrix. No...I didn't place, but, the girl in the 18 yr old category that finished less than a minute ahead of me placed. The guy I had been leap-frogging with the whole way...placed. That's it! Next race, I'm checking in as either a 7 or 70 yr old.
So the goal is: drop 30 pounds by next January so I can run a decent time in Goofy. Hamhocks be damned!
(Last note to self: find out what the hell is in those Geritol pills.)

Take care, Crazies!