A Fall Wedding.

Tuesdays are usually mediocre days after my morning run. Susan came back today. Yay!!! She's one of the founding members of our group, so her presence was missed. T'knesha was given a wake up call this morning by yours truly, however, the 1 Call Missed on my phone's display window indicated that she most likely laid back down after my call and tried to tell us to go ahead without her. Our other runner, Jan, was not there either - she was in San Diego running with her Team in Training people. Might be why T'knesha didn't show, since Jan expresses to her that she better show up since she was the one who invited her to join us. We did have Hallie this morning with us, which was a nice surprise. The more the merrier, I say.

We ran our usual 5 miles. A mere suggestion of running a little farther in the future was quickly stampeded by verbal insistance that the training schedule says we are to simply do 50-55 min. of running and that we are already doing more than that. I think I am going to refrain from further suggestions. It is clear that I am psyched to push the limits but without taking into consideration that I am pushing others' limits in tow. Sorry my friends, I meant no harm.

In all honesty, I have been uneasy since Goat Milk. Three hours to finish the half marathon. That means I'll be out there for approximately six hours. I don't want to be running for six hours. Not because I can't, simply because I want to be finished by lunch so I can go eat and brag to spectators that I just finished. I know there is no shame in six hours, but I just want to see if I can improve from now up to the marathon. There hasn't been many things that I have stuck with for more than three months, so this is like a courtship for me. I'm 5 months in and things are still new and exciting. No adverse comments, arguments or sideways glances. Still puppylove bliss going on here. I figure that by August, the excitement will be there, but also that settled-in feeling where me and the road know one another well enough that we finish each others sentences. I rely on it when I need a cure, to think, to clear my head. And the road will always be there, welcoming, stable, and neverending. Anticipation will lurk around September. The engagement is inevitable. All that time, sweat and pain invested. Nothing worth having is ever easy to achieve or even maintain. Coy glances at the invitation for October, just the right outfit picked out, and the entourage in tow, helping to create memories of old and new and offer words borrowed to keep me from feeling blue.

Finally, October. The ceremony is about to begin. I take my position and wait for the music of millions of cheering faces beckoning me to take my dutiful walk down the 26.2 mile aisle. I don't recognize them all, but the ones that do reassure me with smiling eyes and approving nods. Not until I near the end of my journey down the aisle will the reality hit. My emotions will be mixed and I'll wonder if I could even make it to the end of the aisle. But the memories I have will remind me that I have made all the right decisions. The marraige of the old me to the new me will signify not only the change; it will demonstrate my willingness to live, laugh and love again.