I'm Cute! Why don't I have a stalker???

Tuesday!
Got up before my alarm and lingered until the time was close to it beckoning me to rise. Said my prayers and got ready to go run with the ladies. Can you believe not one radio station had anything worth moving to?! I rely on those pick-me-up songs at 4-are-you-out-of- your-mind:30 in the morning. Today, nothing. All the lovey dovey, "Please don't leave me," "She's gone," songs bludgeoned me to slow motion. Got in the car, praying that by the time I got on the road, the dj's would come to their senses. No! Reached the gym - first one there. Figured if I get out of the car, the cooler air - as opposed to the air in the car- would feel good. It was the same temp inside as out. Is there even a purpose for humidity? Besides making hair frizz and people sweat profusely, is there any redeeming quality in which I have missed all my days of living in MS?
Ran veeerrrrry slow today, although, on the way back, I sped up to get it over with. Wanted to take a nap right there on the track. I had to strip down to the bare essential to catch a small break from the heat. No honks or cat-calls today. Damn. I can only assume the whole perspective is changed when my ample backside is soaking wet from the rooty to the tooty.

A co-worker of mine found a note on her car windshield as she was leaving for work. Apparently, a man she doesn't know has not only taken an interest in her, but is quite familiar with where she lives and I think where she works. He boldly put his number on the note requesting that she call him to let him know if she was spoken for or not. She has a stalker. In situations like that , I don't know whether to be jealous or not. I'm sure there is an iota of flattery within her, but that would freak me out nontheless. The guys in my shop joked that it was probably her apartment manager, and that as she spoke, he was in her apartment wearing her underwear and sifting through her things. You know what I think? I think, and this is only speculation, but I think it's the White Van Stalker! I haven't seen him since I've been running with the ladies. (Maybe extreme sweating turns him off. Or maybe, since we have a tendency to run slower, there is no thrill of the chase. ) The stalkee has stated to having gone walking after work to shed her "winter coat of last year". I didn't ask her if she saw him - didn't want her to go over the edge. But now, after further analysis... what if he's just using her to get to me?! Trying to out flank me? I drop my guard and then.... I mean, after all, the world does revolve around me and I do oft times like to hear myself talk... She does fit the profile - big butt... It's only a matter of time!
My luck, I'll make it to Chicago, get through 26.1 miles and a white van will pull alongside me....